Baby and Bills! Child Care...ugh.

So this last week taught me that being a mom means forking over a quarter of your income to childcare and pretending that it doesn't feel like a knife jabbing into your stomach (Add insult to injury...it's my post baby stomach).

We are blessed. Let me start with saying that. We are sooo blessed. Not only do we have everything we have but Ryan has also just gotten his Canadian residency, so he is here legally and is allowed to start working!

Having said that it means we will also be needing child care in the soon future. I was all bright eyed about finding the perfect place for my little angel, but within an hour of calling around I was starting to feel like someone in the Universe was watching me, pointing and laughing.

My two options were:

Option #1: Go to the Provincial Listings for Licensed places and being put on waiting list. "Luckily" we had already done that. We have been on waiting list for approximately 8 months now...ugh. This will get us a lovely price of around $25-$30 a day, making it $500-$600 a month.

Option #2: Go to a private child care facility, where they can charge anywhere from $35-$40 a day. This gets you a lovely price of $700-$800 a month.

I don't even want to give the annual budget for that, because it hurts too much. Let's just say that we are going to have to start travelling to the tanning salon for tropical vacations and purchasing Mac n Cheese for Italian date night. Perhaps I am exaggerating a bit, but it is quite a shocker when this reality does hit you.

I panicked for a few minutes. Ryan panicked for a day...he might still be panicking. I mean the last thing someone wants to do is look for  "bargain" on child care, right? It's like buying a Groupon for skydiving, it makes you a little nervous. You kind of want the best quality of service when you're a thousand feet in the air and throw your body out of a plane. Like that, childcare to me is something I don't really want to skimp on. My child will be in this daycare more than they are with me, so it's pretty important that it totally rocks!

So I guess we just have to embrace the new reality but as I walk around a supermarket or the mall, I feel like $ signs are floating from children's heads.  We have found a couple places that have an opening and look like it would be worth every cent, so I'm trying to be very postive about this. But is there any advice out there? How do you cope with handing over your baby and your bills?

Me cry? No... can you pass me a kleenex?

Extra Extra! Read all about it!
BRAYDEN SLEPT THROUGH THE NIGHT!! ALL WEEK!!
So last week taught me that being a mom means staring at your baby monitor, tears building up, waiting for your son to wake up because you missed him since he went to bed. 
So this morning, Brayden woke up and I was EXCITED! So excited! I believe I skipped over to his crib, singing a tune in my head, he smiled at me, I picked him up and said, "I missed you!" Why is it that being a parent has made me into a bi-polar woman?
It's like this...one moment I'm exhausted, talking like chipmunk with Mr. Bunny (Brayden's best sleeping friend) willing Brayden to sleep so I can go change into clean clothes that don't have sweet potato crusted on them. The next moment I'm perched at the edge of his crib, watching him sleep like some kind of stalker, tears of joy filing up in my eyes, hoping he'll wake up.
I'm kind of a control freak, so not even being able to control myself is mind boggling sometimes. I'm sure someone warned me about this hormonal dysfunction that has now become My Personality, but I would like to pass on my experience to others so they are not so startled.
Ladies, mothers, mothers-to-be, and more...I HEAR YOUR CRIES...and let me tell you...It's okay.
It's okay if you start crying because your baby never sleeps through the night, or because you didn't have a chance to get a work-out in this morning and now feel bloated, or because you can't find a clean shirt in your closet, or because half your hair has been pulled out by your baby, or because your husband didn't understand you needed sweet potatoes, not regular potatoes. Its' okay.
And guess what? It's also okay to cry when your child does sleep through the night, or because he plays with your hands when you feed him his bottle, or because he laughs like a hyena when he's in his jumper, or because he did the cutest thing with his lips, or just because the child smiles at you. It's okay.
As I see it, it's okay to cry...whenever, however (even that embarrassing snot running out of your nose cry), for whatever reason that little angel gives you. The only other option is that I'm insane, and have completely lost my mind...and I don't really like that option very much . Everyone knows that I'm totally normal, so I guess this emotional dynamic is too. You don't have to take my advice on this, and you cal tell yourself, "When I become a mother I will that totally cool person that keeps it all together and is always fabulous!" but when you start feeling like a stalker, psychopath, menopausal woman, give me a call, we can go to Starbucks, grab a coffee and cry about it. 

What's your Happy Meal?

Being a mom to me means blatantly ignoring people's advice and feeding Bradyen almost everything on my plate.

Oh oh oh...the "extra" advice I have received on what to feed my child. Don't feed him too much fruit! Don't feed him too much meat! Don't feed him anything with spices. Are you really feeding him avocado? Are you really feeding him beef? Are you really feeding him Wasabi?...hee hee, jk..

I truly believe that to each is their own. For example, a lot of people use store bought baby food and good for them, but this is one little thing I like to do on my own. You should see the lovely combinations you can make with sweet potato, chicken and strawberries. I get into my kitchen, and for just a few moments I become a "Julia Childs" kind of woman. Julia Childs would probably roll her eyes at me for comparing me steaming and "Magic Bullet" pureeing vegetables with her delicious cooking. But I really do love it. This may be because I end up eating a good 25% of Brayden's food (a conversation for another day) and I actually want to think it tastes good...I know shocking!

Sometimes I even like to sneak strawberries and apple sauce into his other food to sway him into eating. OHHHH people don't like that. If you feed him sweet stuff, he won't like other stuff. NEGATIVOOO! (That's a word right?) This little trick has actually helped him try more things. SO THERE!...woops, teenager in me just came out.

Sometimes I want to look at the judgmental looks and say, Excuse me,  I'm not judging your ugly shoes so don't judge me feeding my baby! I created a HUMAN BEING for goodness sake! Perhaps this is my own diluted confidence but I think it's important for parents to remember that with a little common sense we might be able to figure out how to KEEP THEM ALIVE. Just because people have different tactics doesn't means they are bad or good, simply different.

Quite frankly, as long as the tummy aches are at a low and there are no burning bottoms, well then I'll sneak a little gosh darn strawberry into his chicken if I want to.:) In the back of my mind, I feel like if Brayden starts exploring different flavors right now, he might be a bit more adventurous in the future. Maybe he will be more willing to travel one day...maybe he'll know more languages...or maybe he'll have his own restaurant  with a baby friendly menu that's entitled "The Real Happy Meal."

Sleep Tight...Don't Let the "Silence" Bite!

This week has taught me that being a mom means:

A full night of uninterrupted sleep is not as sweet as I had thought.

Ryan and Brayden are in Missouri right now. I miss my little family. I remember when I left them there, I said goodbye and Ryan said to me, "Enjoy sleeping".

Ugh! I should be mad at him because he totally jinxed it. Since I have been home, I have gotten to sleep straight through the night. Beautiful right? NOT!! I have woken up completely exhausted. A couple nights I couldn't even get to sleep till 2 am. My perfect sleep has not happened and in fact has left me more tired than before.

Apparently waking up at 2 am, and dealing with a crying baby, formula all over my shorts and dogs wanting to go outside is my perfect recipe for a good night sleep. Now I'm counting down the days till I see my family and even though I will complain the first night Ryan tells me it's my turn to get Brayden in the middle of the night, I will secretly be smiling.