Mommy is a dreamer...

The other day Ryan and I were playing Lego's with Brayden. Brayden is pretty serious when it comes to his Lego building...what can I say, it kind of makes me proud inside to be his mommy when he builds a huge tower, ha ha. In any case I looked at Ryan and said, isn't it amazing that he will get to be anything he wants to be. I looked at Brayden and repeated the same message to him.
Ryan cut off my daydreaming with these words, "Well let's be honest, he can't really be ANYTHING he wants to be. I wanted to be an NBA player and that never happened" Although it made me laugh at the time, it was like a shot to the heart.
Some may say I'm a dreamer... and I know that I do have this unbridled and probably unrealistic view of life, that if you want something bad enough you can get it. I believe people have big dreams, small dreams...whatever, but go after them. Although my version of my dream has somewhat changed over the years (I used to want to write for Hallmark, until I learned I had to live in Kansas City to do so...darn), I look around at my life and I have to pinch myself sometimes. To me I'm living the dream, our family, my work, our home, our travels, etc...yes along the way I had to make some sacrifices, there were amazing times and challenging times but I do believe I worked hard and had a support system of people around me who continued to believe in whatever my dreams were - realistic or unrealistic as they could have been.
So I guess Ryan and I will choose to complement each others ways of supporting our kids. Ryan will remain the realistic father who will be honest with their child about certain talents (so they don't end up a contestant on American Idol who thought they could always sing because their parents told them they were good when in actuality...well you know), but I will probably always remain the dreamer, and hey if my sons have a dream of being an NBA player and they have showed me they have worked hard enough for it, you better believe I will be stocking every NBA scout trying to get my babies through the door and on that court! I guess I'm just that kind of mommy...

Here is a little something I put together a while back, but thought I would share :)

"Caleb, I want to talk to you about something very important..." 

One day you're going to do amazing things!
Like walk and talk, and explore the amazing world! Look up there Caleb!"

"Caleb, are you paying attention?!"

"Brayden, my fingers smell like milk"
"Caleb focus! As I was saying..."

"I wonder when I'll get my milk..." (-Caleb)
"You know Caleb, as your big brother, I'll always be there for you..."

"...milk, milk, milk..." (-Caleb)
"Caleb, pay attention!"
"Brayden, is it Milk time?"

"Mom, Caleb isn't paying attention!!"

"Hmmm...was that a Yes or No?"

To travel or to not travel???

The Holidays are officially over! sad face, sad face, sad face...but the 2014 is looking amazing! happy face, happy face, happy face. Now that I'm back in the swing of things I wanted to make a post today on something I realized during our time together. Ryan and I were fortunate enough get to travel with our family this holiday and apparently we are suicidal so we drove a 16 hour drive to Missouri (which turned out to be 18 hours), packed the car with all of our stuff, Christmas gifts, two boys under the age of 2 and two puppies. Yep insanity.
So for my post today I would like to apologize to any parents I have ever judged for having kids crying in an airplane, for running after their child through the airport, for looking like a crazy person with diapers flying around the change table area at the gas station and just in general to parents I have judged during travels. I now understand it is definitely a lot more challenging than I ever imagined!
Here's the ironic thing...it was also surprisingly so much more fulfilling than I ever imagined. I realized it became a lot easier when I actually decided to have fun with it. Even though I don't know a whole lot about parenting I did learn a little something and I wanted to pass it on. Oftentimes if you actually try to enjoy the traveling (for example bringing games that you would both actually like, watching a movie that you both actually wouldn't mind watching, etc) actually made the trip so much more special.
I was also hoping I could ask you all our there to give those parents a break sometimes an airplane. I don't know how Ryan and I were so fortunate, but we got to have the "good kids" on the plane (it only took me singing itsy bitsy spider about 40 times). There was another little guy on the plane with us and he was ferociously crying for about 3 hours and my heart was breaking for his mom and dad were trying every single thing they could think of and for the little guy whose ears were probably killing him. Sometimes there are uncontrollables, but I promise you the parents dealing with the kiddo's that are crying are going through a lot worse than you are, so just put some headphones on and give them a break. Trust me...you don't want Karma getting you on this one!
In any case I just want to give a shout out to everyone and say Happy Holidays, Happy New Years and like good old Ellen DeGeneres says "let's start to be kind to one another" including strangers and our children! :)

It was a "Sleep" Come True

So I know that in some guide on parenting there must be a section on the rights and wrongs of your child's sleeping habits. I remember being able to talk and clean in Braydens room while he was sleeping then slowly I got quieter and now I look like a spy tip toeing through his room. I remember him falling asleep more in his carseat than in his crib and the stuffed animal and noise machine he got to liking. I'm sure parenting "experts" would have a field day with me.
So after my parents Christmas party the other night when we all (Ryan, Brayden, Caleb, myself and the dogs) were staying in one room at my parents, I knew it might be interesting.
Brayden woke up around 2am when Ryan and I were trying to sneak around assembling a bed and started chatting with us like he was figuring out why we were in HIS room. I calmed him down and put him back to bed, when I thought he was sleeping I tip toed over to just check on him and cover him with blanket. His eyes were wide open and I swear I almost peed my pants scared. (Why are children so much scarier than adults in the dark) I slowly tip toed backwards to my sleeping area, as I did that Caleb started crying...which of course made Brayden more curious. I whispered to Brayden, don't worry, go back to bed with Bunny. I fed Caleb and then looked at his bassinet and his carseat. SCREW IT!! In the car seat he went, I swung it a little bit and asleep Caleb fell.
Just to give some perspective, Brayden usually wakes up around 6:30 and Caleb sleeps 2-3 hours at time.
In the morning, my eyes started to come unglued when I heard Brayden's little voice chatting with his Bunny. To my surprise I felt rested...too rested. It was 7:30am!! How did Brayden sleep with us in the room the whole time. More importantly, how was Caleb still sleeping. Like any sane mom I put my face abnormally close to Calebs to make sure he was breathing. Phew...He was...he was actually snoring...so cute.
I swear I almost started crying with happiness. I thought this night had chances of going terribly and it ended up being a night I got the most sleep I had gotten in almost two months and a night where Brayden really taught me a lesson. It was to give us all a little more credit. All Brayden needed was a chance to show us he could do it and sleep in the same room as us. Maybe we are more resilient than I knew. Sure our parenting style may be a little unconventional at times and I don't follow all the advice out there...but tell that to someone who didn't just get more than 5 hours of sleep with a 2 month old and a 1 and a half year old! Take that "experts"!

"Moo" went the cow. "Waaahh" went mommy.

The other day Brayden, 17 months, made a huge scene while leaving daycare. Kicking and screaming while putting him in his car seat, he actually kicked me too. When I finally got into the drivers seat I sat there almost wanting to cry. As we drove home I told Brayden "Mommy isn't talking to you on the way home because you hurt my feelings." What?!? he really had...
Brayden "chatted" on the way home and then started making his animal sounds, which we have been working on. He was doing so good with his cow and monkey sounds...so of course I started tearing up with pride. Within 5 minutes, we were "moo"ing together. Well I hope he learned his lesson...
This post is dedicated for my friend Melanie whose feelings were hurt recently too.

Sunny Weekend Realizations...

So being a mother to me this last weekend meant realizing...

That children get to discover what grass is...so funny

That men feel a sense of pride just seeing their favorite team on their baby's shirt

That straps on children's hats are there for a reason

That children think it's funny that you wear sunglasses on your face when it's clearly a chew toy! (I'll only be getting glasses under $5 from now on)

That Brayden only thinks BIG dogs are actually dogs, Canen and Tigers are obviously human!

That Starbucks should have a children's menu because they are really missing a key audience (Brayden loves their oatmeal!)

and...That weekends are so much better with my Monkeys!

Double the pleasure...Double the diapers!!

Being a mom to me means once thinking I had this perfect plan for life, when really I have as much control over my life, as I do the weather (And if you live in Winnipeg, you understand my disposition on that)

Yeppers. I'm pregnant again. And I'm not going to lie, I might have been freaking out just a tad... like a mountain size tad. Ryan was even funnier. I don't think he actually spoke for about ten minutes after he discovered the news. He just made a lot of odd faces. People were supportive and excited but loved to remind us that we were going to have two kids under the age of 2. What great news, they will be able to play and share toys! On the other hand, it also means they will have to share their parents -- from what I understand humans are harder to divide. I also recall my sister all excited and saying, "oh both your kids will be in diapers!!" Thanks Jen :)

So yes they will be about 15 months apart. When I realized this, I started to panic. Oh my perfect little plan of having Brayden be old enough to help when I was pregnant again. Infants require time, energy, and willingness to be there whenever they need. Brayden will demand the same, but with a little extra "fun" as now he is mobile and often takes Ryan and I both to corner him before he gets into mischief.
I might be exaggerating a little bit but I feel like parenting two kids under the age of 2 is like walking two dogs, and the little one is trying to stop and go to the bathroom while the big dog is pulling on their leash so hard you slip, pull the little puppy and step in the poop pile (never mind the fact that we actually have two dogs). Yep, it's like a cartoon. I understand why people make reality shows out of this stuff. I can envision it- Ryan sleeping in the living room with the baby, while midnight ESPN reruns play and me sleeping on the floor of Brayden's room with food caked on my forehead.

LOL!
STOP!! Pay attention to the following:

Even as I've been writing this, I've been smiling. Maybe I'm excited for the storm! Instead of being scared and staying inside, I'll get the courage to run outside and play in the rain. I'm excited to apply what Ryan and I have learned so far and see these two little beings grow together. I'm excited to see Brayden's face when he meets his younger sibling or maybe see him give an applause one day when the little one first learns how to crawl, or roll, or walk. I'm also excited to see the little look up to their older brother as he teaches them to do so much (including getting into mischief.)

So, will we be able to handle two under 2? I'm planning on it. I know it will be a little crazy, and we'll have to compromise on everything from trips to...sleep. But I don't want to wish that time away, because it's such a blessing and soon enough we'll look back at it,  laugh about the craziness and I'll wish I could have it all back.

The Secret to Being a Working Mom: Research in Progress!

Being a mother to me this last week has meant learning that it's okay to work and be mom.

Ages after society has made it okay to be a working mom, I found myself in an odd situation. Brayden got the stomach flu and was basically not able to go to daycare for a week. Ryan had just begun a job so we didn't think it was a good idea that he asked for days off right away, so I was basically off work or working from home throughout that week.

I found myself at home feeling bad that I couldn't be at work, and then when I was at work, I was feeling bad that I couldn't be with Brayden. I remember feeling that, "Oh my goodness, I'm a real parent" kind of sensation that came over me. I felt like I was going through an emotional crisis, which is odd because I' usually a very confident person (I know I'm really trying to go after that whole modesty thing ;))

It was not until someone took me aside at work and said, "Stop over analyzing it, You're not gonna feel okay with it because you're a parent and you're hard worker and you're a ...oh yah...human! We have sick days and personal days for a reason so when you have to use them, feel okay with that, and or just get used to not feeling okay about it! Even though it will ok, it's hard but this is what it is to be a working mom."

You should have seen my face after. ha ha, I was like a child whose candy had been stolen. I didn't know if I should cry or if I should I feel better? But she was right. This is the life of a working mom and at least I work at a place that really supports that kind of person. They never ask for me to be at work at night. They respect my time with my family. They would think it's crazy if I was at work past 6! They are really great! I think what happened was that this whole world was just new to me and it took me some time to get my head around it. 

My work has always been very important to me and nothing has ever really pulled me away from that but at the end of a day, a job is a job. I really enjoy what I do and hope to remain here as long as they'll keep me but if I ever needed to get another job, I feel confident that it would happen. Brayden though...man, he's irreplaceable. He's the best part of my day and it's a really special thing that when he was sick and down in the dumps and nothing would calm him, I would hold him and he would nuzzle into my neck and fall asleep. That's a Benefit work could never offer.