My Beautiful Messy Life...

What is this sticky stuff?
Aaahh I need a break!!
Tear tear, I miss them so much!!
What is happening?! Who am I?
Thank you God, I'm so blessed!
God grant me the patience...

Yep there are basically a million sentiments I'm feeling every single day when it comes to being a mother to my beautiful boys. I honestly feel like I'm a crazy person because I'm emotional roller coaster. Anyone that knows me probably knows that I want it all. Here's the crazy part... I think I can actually have it. I want to be the mother that can go to work and be a successful career woman, have many dates with my hubby and be a good wife, and work out enough to be a hot mama, and have oodles of time with my babies where we play and embrace eachother as they tell me how much they love.
Reality Check: I'm a mother who does love my job but shows up to work with an extra large coffee in hopes that one day I'll get a raise- not to be a successful career woman- but to be able to afford putting two kids in daycare. My husband and I have maybe 2 dates a month, pretty good right?!, but one usually consists of us sitting in front of a nice restaurant where I then convince my husband to go to McDonalds so we can eat quick and get some sleep because the week has kicked out butts. My work outs at home usually consist of Brayden crawling on my back as I try and do push ups till I eventually start laughing and then hurt myself, so I end up watching Ellen and shoving some chocolate in my mouth. And my time with my babies usually consist of me telling them how much I love them, Caleb throws up on me and Brayden slaps me in the face (That was a great day)
So...to any people that wonder why my emotional status is that of someone who has recently left the ward, those are the reasons. But I admit it, put me in a straitjacket, because I am CRAZY. But I'm crazy about this dysfunctional life I lead. I left the house this morning for church and peaked into the living room and it honestly looked like a tornado had hit from the morning play session. My mind said...we'll have to clean this up when we get home, but my heart took over and a smile came over my face. That space was full of love. I wouldn't have wanted it any other way. That living room represented my crazy messy beautiful life and LORD I couldn't feel more blessed. THANK YOU!
P.S. I of course came home and tripped on some Lego and almost cut my foot. Parenthood..
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